Feb 19 2009

The Truth About … Winning at life

If you ask most people whether they would like to be a winner or loser in life, I’m sure they’ll say winner. But you have to wonder, “What does it mean to win in life?” For example, my favorite game of basketball declares the winner as the team with the most points at the end of the game. On a sidenote, Vince Lombardi said, “The Green Bay Packers never lost a football game. They just ran out of time.” LOL.

But it’s not easy to figure out what it means to win in the game of life. And it’s because people have different ways of defining it. I know a lot of people who consider the accumulation of money or material posessions as winning. My collegues may agree that winning means living the longest. Athletes could say it’s to have their body in tip-top shape. I believe a part of it has to do with having a happy family and healthy relationships.

And you know what? They all can be right. So what we need to do is look at the bigger picture. Let’s think about it differently. Generally, people think of winning as the over-achievement in a particular, chosen area. But change that. Instead of focusing on one aspect to overachieve, try succeeding in maintaining balanced achievements in numerous areas.

In order to truly win and be a success, is not to overachieve in 1 area, but to maintain balanced achievement in all areas of our lives.

Personally, I know I did well balancing my life in high school because I had good grades, officer of a club, served in student government, lettered in track and field, volunteered, and many other areas. In undergrad, I studied, held a job, had a wonderful girlfriend, and lead two car clubs. In grad school, I fell apart. My undergrad girlfriend and I went separate ways, I had trouble fitting in with the car clubs here, school was ultra-competitive, and I kept changing jobs because I wasn’t satisfied. But in the end, my overachievement was finishing as a Doctor.

You can see the imbalance in my life in grad school. Could ask yourself, are you a success if you earn millions of dollars but lose your family along the way? Are you a success if you have nationwide fame but have no friends? Or course not! In fact, you may live the most pitiful of all lives.

You can become a winner. It takes just 3 steps and just a couple of minutes to learn it. Then it becomes a part of you. To learn the 3 steps of becoming a winner for $0.99, click here.

Dr J

Tags: relationship, self-help, success, winning

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Feb 14 2009

The Truth About … Psychology of Winning

Can you spot a winner? I can. They’re the ones who expect to win, no matter what. Think of someone who’s always positive. Someone who’s always optimistic. They’re the ones who will succeed.

What do you call winners who didn’t expect to win? ‘Lucky’ comes to mind. But those with the right mental attitude have a self-fulfilling prophesy. In the long run, they’ll get what they want. And because of this long-term vision, they have the energy, drive, enthusiasm, and motivation to keep going at it, day after day, through ups and downs.

What if you don’t believe in controlling your own destiny? Well you must believe in someone else controlling your destiny. That faith is the same psychology we’re talking about.

Why do I believe in you? Because you took the time to read this! You’re looking for something and putting the effort out, and believing you’ll find it. You will! Don’t give up!

Optimism is a way of life. To find out how you can begin the process, click here for an information filled eBook.

Dr J

Tags: dreams, law of attraction, self-help, success

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Feb 12 2009

The Truth About … Relationships

1) Listen and communicate. Oftentimes, when we’re quiet and supposed to be listening, we’re thinking about what we’re going to say next, instead of listening. Communication is especially important during the hardest times of life. Finals week was always difficult, as both parties were focused on studies instead of each other. But if you learn to listen and communicate, you can work through just about everything.
It’s also good to note that you need to be listening on all levels. Verbal is just one, body language is another. Learn their quirks, their likes and dislikes. Discover how best to please them. Ask if you can’t figure it out! Once you know what turns them on, be sure to do it!
2) Schedule time to be together. What’s 1 thing that you and your companion must do everyday? That’s the thing to do together. For us, it was meals, especially dinner. We did our best to have dinner together every night. It’s a time to download and share what happened throughout the day, and express your thoughts and feelings. Dinner’s a casual thing, takes as long as you need, and without pressure. You can think of it as renewing the relationship. In my family, Dad always said ‘Sunday is Family Day’. It was the only day he didn’t work. As a family we’d do something. Until our lives got busier, then it turned into ‘Everybody’s gotta be home for dinner’.
3) Give your mate some priority. I firmly believe you should put yourself first, but whenever possible, put them first! They’ll thank you. It’s better to give than receive, right? And typically, you’ll received exponentially compared to what you give. If you differ in opinion, such as politics or what to eat or where to go, try to understand your mate, address their concern, and then put in your thoughts.
4) Lastly, forgive. I used to say ‘I don’t accept apologies. I’ll see it in the way you act and know if you mean it or not.” I took this hard stance all the way till grad school, and it worked for me, but made enemies. In theory, it works. But in reality, people need affirmation. People are not perfect, including me. It’s ok to mess up, so forgive them. It’s one of the big lessons in Buddhism and Christianity too. But don’t be a pushover either!!!

Good luck with your Valentines!

Tags: happiness, priorities, relationship, self-help, time management

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Jan 10 2009

The Truth About … Taking charge of 2009 with 6 tips

I have to thank Stephen Covey for changing my life. In 12th grade, our Leadership class (aka Student Government in some schools) had an assignment to read, discuss, and implement 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I’ve picked out 6 of the habits here that will make 2009 your best year ever. (To find the 7th, borrow this book from your local library.) The great thing about these habits is that you can do them right now. They are not difficult to include into your daily life. In fact, they are not things you do, but rather things that you think about. Let me know your success stories!

1. Be proactive
It’s more than just taking initiative. It means being responsible for your own life. Empower yourself to lead and spread your influence no matter what position you hold.

2. Begin with the end in mind
Start today with an image of the end of your life as the frame of reference by which everything else is examined. With a clear idea of where you are going, examine everything in the context of what matters to you most.

3. Seek to understand before seeking to be understood
It’s human nature to want to be understood, but when both parties are trying to be understood, neither party is listening. By making the investment to understand the other party, you can magically transform the course of your conversations.

4. Think win-win
There’s enough success for everyone, so don’t view another person’s success as success achieved at your expense or exclusion.

5. Develop a vision mission statement.
Get a deep sense of your life’s mission, purpose and value system, then establish your goals and a system of accountability that keeps you on track.

6. Sharpen the saw
Decide what’s truly important. Sharpen your saw early in the day by learning to say no to the unimportant and yes to the highly important.

Dr J

Tags: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, book, inspiration, library, self-help, Stephen Covey, success

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Jan 4 2009

The Truth About … Pass It On

I’m sure you’ve heard of the world phenomenon that’s changed people’s lives called “The Secret.” It began with a movie (which can be bought or viewed online) about the Law of Attraction.  It states that what you think and believe becomes reality.  It’s not a science, as it’s not measurable, however, it’s effectiveness lays in the user/believer.  Their system is as follows:

1) knowing what you want
2) asking the system for it
3) Feel and behave as if the object of your desire is on its way
4) Be open to receiving it

I would simplify it even further: If you believe something more than anybody else, then it will be true. Think of all the cults, enthusiasts, weirdos, psychos out there who have gotten their way, even though the rest of us didn’t believe. Their belief was stronger than ours!

Another self-help video of similar caliber is called Pass It On. There are 3 main points of success, and here are the steps to get them

1) wealth
a) clarity, goals,  visualization
b) strategy
C)  take action consistently

2) inspiration
a) catalyst, ah-ha, recognition of inspiration
b) Positive energy, thinking, speaking
c) commitment

3) success
a) living your life in pursuit of passion
2) passion
3) dont work, play!

4) happiness
a) Serving others
b) give
c) smile

I liked those 2 videos because they sum up a lot of the self-help information out there. Of course, these are not complete, they’re just summaries. You can get by just by watching the trailers and figure out what the message is. Do your best and grow everyday.

Dr J

Tags: happiness, inspiration, law of attraction, self-help, success, wealth

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