The Truth About … Relationships
1) Listen and communicate. Oftentimes, when we’re quiet and supposed to be listening, we’re thinking about what we’re going to say next, instead of listening. Communication is especially important during the hardest times of life. Finals week was always difficult, as both parties were focused on studies instead of each other. But if you learn to listen and communicate, you can work through just about everything.
It’s also good to note that you need to be listening on all levels. Verbal is just one, body language is another. Learn their quirks, their likes and dislikes. Discover how best to please them. Ask if you can’t figure it out! Once you know what turns them on, be sure to do it!
2) Schedule time to be together. What’s 1 thing that you and your companion must do everyday? That’s the thing to do together. For us, it was meals, especially dinner. We did our best to have dinner together every night. It’s a time to download and share what happened throughout the day, and express your thoughts and feelings. Dinner’s a casual thing, takes as long as you need, and without pressure. You can think of it as renewing the relationship. In my family, Dad always said ‘Sunday is Family Day’. It was the only day he didn’t work. As a family we’d do something. Until our lives got busier, then it turned into ‘Everybody’s gotta be home for dinner’.
3) Give your mate some priority. I firmly believe you should put yourself first, but whenever possible, put them first! They’ll thank you. It’s better to give than receive, right? And typically, you’ll received exponentially compared to what you give. If you differ in opinion, such as politics or what to eat or where to go, try to understand your mate, address their concern, and then put in your thoughts.
4) Lastly, forgive. I used to say ‘I don’t accept apologies. I’ll see it in the way you act and know if you mean it or not.” I took this hard stance all the way till grad school, and it worked for me, but made enemies. In theory, it works. But in reality, people need affirmation. People are not perfect, including me. It’s ok to mess up, so forgive them. It’s one of the big lessons in Buddhism and Christianity too. But don’t be a pushover either!!!
Good luck with your Valentines!
Tags: happiness, priorities, relationship, self-help, time management