If you ask most people whether they would like to be a winner or loser in life, I’m sure they’ll say winner. But you have to wonder, “What does it mean to win in life?” For example, my favorite game of basketball declares the winner as the team with the most points at the end of the game. On a sidenote, Vince Lombardi said, “The Green Bay Packers never lost a football game. They just ran out of time.” LOL.
But it’s not easy to figure out what it means to win in the game of life. And it’s because people have different ways of defining it. I know a lot of people who consider the accumulation of money or material posessions as winning. My collegues may agree that winning means living the longest. Athletes could say it’s to have their body in tip-top shape. I believe a part of it has to do with having a happy family and healthy relationships.
And you know what? They all can be right. So what we need to do is look at the bigger picture. Let’s think about it differently. Generally, people think of winning as the over-achievement in a particular, chosen area. But change that. Instead of focusing on one aspect to overachieve, try succeeding in maintaining balanced achievements in numerous areas.
In order to truly win and be a success, is not to overachieve in 1 area, but to maintain balanced achievement in all areas of our lives.
Personally, I know I did well balancing my life in high school because I had good grades, officer of a club, served in student government, lettered in track and field, volunteered, and many other areas. In undergrad, I studied, held a job, had a wonderful girlfriend, and lead two car clubs. In grad school, I fell apart. My undergrad girlfriend and I went separate ways, I had trouble fitting in with the car clubs here, school was ultra-competitive, and I kept changing jobs because I wasn’t satisfied. But in the end, my overachievement was finishing as a Doctor.
You can see the imbalance in my life in grad school. Could ask yourself, are you a success if you earn millions of dollars but lose your family along the way? Are you a success if you have nationwide fame but have no friends? Or course not! In fact, you may live the most pitiful of all lives.
You can become a winner. It takes just 3 steps and just a couple of minutes to learn it. Then it becomes a part of you. To learn the 3 steps of becoming a winner for $0.99, click here.
Can you spot a winner? I can. They’re the ones who expect to win, no matter what. Think of someone who’s always positive. Someone who’s always optimistic. They’re the ones who will succeed.
What do you call winners who didn’t expect to win? ‘Lucky’ comes to mind. But those with the right mental attitude have a self-fulfilling prophesy. In the long run, they’ll get what they want. And because of this long-term vision, they have the energy, drive, enthusiasm, and motivation to keep going at it, day after day, through ups and downs.
What if you don’t believe in controlling your own destiny? Well you must believe in someone else controlling your destiny. That faith is the same psychology we’re talking about.
Why do I believe in you? Because you took the time to read this! You’re looking for something and putting the effort out, and believing you’ll find it. You will! Don’t give up!
Optimism is a way of life. To find out how you can begin the process, click here for an information filled eBook.
1) Listen and communicate. Oftentimes, when we’re quiet and supposed to be listening, we’re thinking about what we’re going to say next, instead of listening. Communication is especially important during the hardest times of life. Finals week was always difficult, as both parties were focused on studies instead of each other. But if you learn to listen and communicate, you can work through just about everything.
It’s also good to note that you need to be listening on all levels. Verbal is just one, body language is another. Learn their quirks, their likes and dislikes. Discover how best to please them. Ask if you can’t figure it out! Once you know what turns them on, be sure to do it!
2) Schedule time to be together. What’s 1 thing that you and your companion must do everyday? That’s the thing to do together. For us, it was meals, especially dinner. We did our best to have dinner together every night. It’s a time to download and share what happened throughout the day, and express your thoughts and feelings. Dinner’s a casual thing, takes as long as you need, and without pressure. You can think of it as renewing the relationship. In my family, Dad always said ‘Sunday is Family Day’. It was the only day he didn’t work. As a family we’d do something. Until our lives got busier, then it turned into ‘Everybody’s gotta be home for dinner’.
3) Give your mate some priority. I firmly believe you should put yourself first, but whenever possible, put them first! They’ll thank you. It’s better to give than receive, right? And typically, you’ll received exponentially compared to what you give. If you differ in opinion, such as politics or what to eat or where to go, try to understand your mate, address their concern, and then put in your thoughts.
4) Lastly, forgive. I used to say ‘I don’t accept apologies. I’ll see it in the way you act and know if you mean it or not.” I took this hard stance all the way till grad school, and it worked for me, but made enemies. In theory, it works. But in reality, people need affirmation. People are not perfect, including me. It’s ok to mess up, so forgive them. It’s one of the big lessons in Buddhism and Christianity too. But don’t be a pushover either!!!
I saw a movie a few years ago that had a very funny scene. One of the characters asked the other what he would do if he had a million dollars. He replied, “Nothing….if I had a million dollars, I would just relax all day long and enjoy myself.” Another guy chimed in and seriously stated, “Hey, you don’t need a million dollars to do that…just look at my cousin…he is flat broke and he doesn’t do a thing but sit there all day long.”
I think I laughed about that for an hour and it just caused me to smile again.
Although the line in the movie was a joke, it illustrates a truth of life. Whatever it is that you wish to do - do it! Don’t wait! Seriously, why put off your dreams until tomorrow or until you get all your ducks in a row. Guess what? The ducks of life sometimes have a mind of their own and tend to wander a lot. You may never get all your ducks in a row.
I have been a professional speaker since I was 20 years old. When I was 27, I was speaking with a woman and she said, “I am 59 years old and by the time I am 65 I would like to have my Master’s Degree and be working as a professional speaker.” I looked at her perplexed as I inquired, “Why in the world are you going to wait until you are 65 and have a degree? I am 27 years old with no degree and I am speaking tomorrow!” You could tell that my statement shattered her reality and she had no response.
This woman was waiting to pursue her dream until everything was just perfect. Until she had everything that she thought she needed to ensure maximum success when in reality the greatest thing that she could have done is simply move in the direction of what she desires.
The greatest resistor of human dreams is the “If I had a million dollars” attitude. Individuals dream that if they had a million dollars, they could pursue their vision. No they wouldn’t! If you don’t pursue your vision when you are broke – when you grasp a million, you will create another reason why it isn’t possible. Or if you are one of the few who would actually live their dreams if you had a million dollars, what is the probability that you are going to save a million dollars?
Ever heard this train of thought?
Once I get out of high school I am going to see the world and travel…
Once I finish college I am going to see the world and travel…
Once I get married I am going to travel with my spouse…
After our kids are older we are going to see the world and travel…
When our kids get out of high school we are going to see the world and travel…
As soon as we retire we are going to see the world and travel…
Now, I am out of school, kids are gone and I am retired – if I was younger and my health was better I would see the world and travel…
Don’t wait…
Many questions of life are complicated and unclear. Yet, the question of if you should pursue your dream or what until you have a million dollars is as clear as the waters of Fiji. You are not promised tomorrow. You are not promised a million dollars. Pursue your dream today and inch closer or it will remain equally as distant as the pages of your life near the final chapter.
Taxes, after all, are dues that we pay for the privileges of membership in an organized society. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
AARP has made available free tax aide. They are IRS trained people in your local community that will help you fill out your taxes. It’s a great service helping those who cannot afford to pay someone to help them. On top of that, they are trained by IRS, the people collecting your money! They will spend hours, if necessary, to get things done for you. Visit their website for more information.
I have to thank Stephen Covey for changing my life. In 12th grade, our Leadership class (aka Student Government in some schools) had an assignment to read, discuss, and implement 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I’ve picked out 6 of the habits here that will make 2009 your best year ever. (To find the 7th, borrow this book from your local library.) The great thing about these habits is that you can do them right now. They are not difficult to include into your daily life. In fact, they are not things you do, but rather things that you think about. Let me know your success stories!
1. Be proactive
It’s more than just taking initiative. It means being responsible for your own life. Empower yourself to lead and spread your influence no matter what position you hold.
2. Begin with the end in mind
Start today with an image of the end of your life as the frame of reference by which everything else is examined. With a clear idea of where you are going, examine everything in the context of what matters to you most.
3. Seek to understand before seeking to be understood
It’s human nature to want to be understood, but when both parties are trying to be understood, neither party is listening. By making the investment to understand the other party, you can magically transform the course of your conversations.
4. Think win-win
There’s enough success for everyone, so don’t view another person’s success as success achieved at your expense or exclusion.
5. Develop a vision mission statement.
Get a deep sense of your life’s mission, purpose and value system, then establish your goals and a system of accountability that keeps you on track.
6. Sharpen the saw
Decide what’s truly important. Sharpen your saw early in the day by learning to say no to the unimportant and yes to the highly important.
In September 2008, I was exploring career options. Through a mutual acquaintance, a clinic 400 miles away in Rocklin, CA heard about me, and wanted me to join their team. They were wonderful hosts, and to show my appreciation, I got them a $100 gift card to RC Willey in Rocklin, CA, because they told me they always found great deals at RC Willey. And being wonderful people that they were, they declined my thankful gesture. So now, I’m stuck with a $100 gift card to RC Willey. The question is, what should I do with it?
1) Use it. I already paid for it, it’s not refundable. I could get myself a desk, or bedframe (I’ll talk about dumpster diving another time). But I really don’t absolutely need anything right now.
2) Trade it. I can trade a friend, or online, for a store that I would need, like Walmart, Target, or CostCo, which are the main stores I’ve been shopping at recently. I could trade the card on Craiglist, which is a free service, thereby retaining the full $100 value.
3) Sell it. I can sell it to a friend, or online. Again, Craiglist is a free service. There is also Card Avenue, which allows you to sell the card for auction, or trade. I like how you can buy insurance for the card, so neither party gets burned. They also have a verification system to prove that the card has the amount as advertised. The downside is the cost of 3.95% of card value plus $0.50 closing fee. On a $100 card, that’s $4.45.
There is also eBay, the online auction site. The fees are even more steep there. The good news is the high exposure you’ll get with your auction. Many people still use eBay, so you’ll have plenty of eyes checking out your gift card.
What do most people do? According to this survey, most people re-gift it. That’s an option I haven’t entertained, and may resort to it. Unfortunately, I don’t know many people here yet as I just recently moved in. I may come up with a give-away for this site too. We’ll see!
I’m sure you’ve heard of the world phenomenon that’s changed people’s lives called “The Secret.” It began with a movie (which can be bought or viewed online) about the Law of Attraction. It states that what you think and believe becomes reality. It’s not a science, as it’s not measurable, however, it’s effectiveness lays in the user/believer. Their system is as follows:
1) knowing what you want
2) asking the system for it
3) Feel and behave as if the object of your desire is on its way
4) Be open to receiving it
I would simplify it even further: If you believe something more than anybody else, then it will be true. Think of all the cults, enthusiasts, weirdos, psychos out there who have gotten their way, even though the rest of us didn’t believe. Their belief was stronger than ours!
Another self-help video of similar caliber is called Pass It On. There are 3 main points of success, and here are the steps to get them
1) wealth
a) clarity, goals, visualization
b) strategy
C) take action consistently
2) inspiration
a) catalyst, ah-ha, recognition of inspiration
b) Positive energy, thinking, speaking
c) commitment
3) success
a) living your life in pursuit of passion
2) passion
3) dont work, play!
4) happiness
a) Serving others
b) give
c) smile
I liked those 2 videos because they sum up a lot of the self-help information out there. Of course, these are not complete, they’re just summaries. You can get by just by watching the trailers and figure out what the message is. Do your best and grow everyday.
I’ve always said that you should do what you like, and find a way to get paid for it. I found what I love: Chiropractic. However, it’s not paying very much. Compared to when I was in Irvine, I’m getting paid slightly more now, but work three times as many hours. I also have a smaller management role too. I took this position to advance my career and learn how to run a large clinic. I’m getting what I wanted, plus working more too. My role consists of examining patients, getting them prepped for x-rays, and treating patients. At the moment, I do not consult, give report of findings, or manage cases. Basically, this position is for new graduates, not seasoned doctors. Hence, the poor pay. The pay will change, as soon as I obtain my x-ray license, but the Radiological Board is taking forever to okay my application. In the mean time, I’m a lowly slave.
Oh I’m so upset with WaMu. I’ve been a customer since 2000 and things have been ok so far. I had trouble with an ATM deposit with them once, where my check wasn’t signed, and I never heard about it for a month. I tried contacting their 1-800 customer service line, which was no help. They said I had to go back to the ATM branch. Well, what if the branch was miles and miles away?!
So I went into the branch and waited forever to get serviced. I’m talking 15 minutes. I was helped by a lowly rep, who had no clue and couldn’t do anything. Then I waited again for the branch manager, who had to have someone else open the ATM vault and retrieve my check to sign. What a hassle! I was told they hold checks until the owner returns to claim them. Geez, horrible customer service, they don’t even care about me.
I went to them for a business loan… They don’t offer business loans. But they do have business accounts. What kinda bank is this?!
I just reordered checks. Interesting, cuz since I opened my account in 2000, I just ran out of checks today. I placed the order and was told that there won’t be a charge since I have their Free Checking account.
A month later, I see a $20 charge for the checks. After back and forth talks, I found out in 2007 they started a new program called “WaMu Free Checking”. Whereas I had “Free Checking”. Well geez, thanks for not telling me! I got an account way back then and 1 reason was for the free checks. They were the first big commercial bank back then to offer it, and that’s what I wanted. Now they’re telling me it wasn’t part of the program.
I’m thoroughly upset. I’m going to open a credit union bank account now. Bank of America messed up my business loan and Wells Fargo ran a credit check when I was told that they wouldn’t. This’s worse than being just a number. Time to bring it back to the community and do things the old fashion way with customers coming first and service being top priority.
